Sunday, December 12, 2010

Self-Reflection and Being with what is



Written Yesterday:

BLUE HERON
:

It’s medicine reminds us that “self-improvement is best accomplished by balancing the desire to change with gentle discernment”

Yesterday I noticed myself feeling a little guilty about missing practice. I was tired and conflicted, as I sat on my floor in contemplation. “Should I push through and practice or should I listen to my body and relax?” So I was carried with the medicine of Blue Heron, which reminded me how little things matter when I become self-absorbed and start criticizing myself. Blue Heron teaches that self-reflection is never self-criticizing, rather it is a peeling of layers of truth that are bound in being simply human.

This reflection helps me to see that whether I miss a day of practice or not means absolutely nothing; it’s that I forgive myself that counts. It is my reverence, my honor and respect for myself and it is knowing who I AM: devoted, committed, LOVE. I know that I am always forgiven when I forgive myself.

Other valuable lesson that I can take from this? Well- the night before missing a day of practice, I chose to drink wine and be with a friend. Drinking affects my balance. I had a good time, but I also like to be balanced. So the experience helps me to see that with every cause there is an effect and ultimately, I choose.

I am grateful for these experiences.

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