He who blames, thinks he is alone, but isn't.

The challenge comes not in circumstance but in thinking we are alone.

"For he who blames, thinks he is alone, but isn't."

When we fear, we blame and it is in blaming that we miss the mark, thinking we are alone. What is there to react to but this belief that we are separate and therefore alone, that creates the world into believing there is much to fear and that love must be compromised because of circumstance? For this reason, the world was created. It is out of duality that we remember our roots and desire non-separateness; however, because of fear, we often multiply illusions for a time. It is in not reacting but believing in the source of All-that-is, that we overcome circumstance and bring each other home: to heaven, where we are in peace and unafraid, where limitless spirit comes and awaken us.

It is in this that the seeds of being are sown. In being, we are full of spirit; we trust, we have grace, we forgive, comfort, heal and bless. Through this, all things are possible; the grandeur of God, comes to inspire and create beautiful things. Although much tension and angst may be created in the process of undoing ourselves from blame, the projection of guilt, the practice is in trusting that through a higher intelligence, all things are possible. We are never alone.

What happens oftentimes is resistance to circumstance, doubt and fear. The fear is of thinking we are separate and alone. With circumstances to overcome, we often grow bitter because of this belief. The projection of guilt, we have been taught, is the means of salvation and therefore, warranted to be the correction of all error. While we do this, we hurt ourselves. It is our inherent goodness that we trust and know that, as stated in Course in Miracles, "there is nothing to fear."

To overcome challenges, one must see through to the heart and forgive. Also, one must trust: "there is nothing to fear." I am never alone. There is a way through the madness, other than to retaliate, blame and project guilt.

Perspective: How to treat and forgive a little "brat"

This came through in my wonder of how to treat my little "bratty" nephew. :) Opportunity knocks!

Teach by example and that is all

The cultivation of patience, tolerance, trust, honesty, gentleness and even joy are all personal matters. One can not learn on matters of the heart, without experience or wonder. Therefore, when teaching children, it is unnecessary to freight. Naturally, the child becomes curious when looked upon with wonder rather than intolerance and impatience. It is intolerant to believe one should listen without explanation nor should they have to listen by control, obedience or law alone. For what is taught is mostly taught by example and so the greatest force you can contribute to this world is in the practice of attaining Truth within yourself, not outside.

One may teach Truth, but often we all are to degrees. Not without fear is it intermixed, that the Truth gets watered down, confusing, befumbling to those whom receive. The best thing to do is to be an example. In being an example, one is more likely to discern within their mind and without words, accept with gentle eyes. With the compassion and love that replaces all fear, does the "teacher" transmit to her child and even to those whom aren't, the love of Creation.

One may wonder when enough is enough. The child says "No" and demands respect and yet, does not know how to give it. However often, they are treated as little, when in fact, the Truth is in them,as it is in all. Many or most, do not see themselves in the child nor would they proclaim to be as little as the child. However, in reality, the child is them, some parts of which suppressed and denied; they grow angry and bitter without peace of mind.

Everything is a manifestation of something more deeply rooted than the superficial. The "problem" is often not the issue but the symptom of something greater and in need of healing. Thus, while the gentle eyes of compassion and warmth are the rarest gifts of humankind, the child may bring up the wound within the healer/parent/teacher and therefore, be the the medicine to a much greater awareness of themselves. The challenge, of course, is in accepting the gift, the moment of challenge and confrontation, as an opportunity to work on Self rather than on another. What often happens, however, is that intolerance and impatience are fed, the wound doesn't heal, and punishment or guilt is transmitted instead.

The cultivation of Spirit is not in preaching, but by sharing experiences and being an example. If intolerance, impatience and neglect are felt, if meanness is transmitted from child to parent or teacher or healer, the question to ask is how one might do this within themselves.

How might I improve the quality of intolerance and impatience within myself?
What do I need when I am being intolerant, impatient and mean?
What would I like from others when I am feeling intolerant, impatient and mean?

To die is to love

"I seek but what belongs to me in truth. And joy and peace are my inheritance."
Course in Miracles

To seek for what belongs to us in truth is to constantly be moving in the direction of joy, peace and happiness. By means of focusing on joy, peace and happiness in all that we do, we can measure how connected we are to the Infinite Source within ourselves. Joy, peace and happiness are our inherent gifts; since we are all children of God, we all have the capacity, regardless of circumstance, to overcome challenges.

It may be the case at times that we do not seem to realize that it is joy, peace or happiness we are moving toward. While it is what we all want, obstacles and challenges occur that make living love seem difficult. Little do we know that when this occurs, it is often because rather than life, we seek death instead.

The paradox of life is that death is a part of life. To desire the death of the false self is to love and to love is to be constantly moving in the direction of peace, joy and happiness. We are often unconscious of the death that we seek however. For this reason, death causes more angst and suffering, making it more difficult to realize or overcome the challenge. With this said, we can portend that death is a prerequisite to love; however if unaware, we are more likely to prolong our death. By holding on to the body, at the cost of the spirit, we fall asleep to purpose, which is constantly moving us in the direction of love. Thus, the death of the false self lingers on when one is unaware that the spirit, regardless of how things may look on the physical level, is constantly moving us in the direction of Truth- happiness, joy and peace.

Death is a necessary product of life. While there is just one physical death, the reality is that the death of the false self, the ego, is what evolves us. It is required in order to increase our capacity to love. Many people choose to numb, suppress and deny the death of their false self and for this reason, live a slow death of the body, with less joy and happiness for them to access. One can say that the more deaths one is willing to bear, the greater the capacity to love- the more joy, peace and happiness is available. Faith and trust in an Infinite Source is paramount to moving forward; while spirit is stronger and more aware of itself as Infinite potential, the body is dense and constantly in need of reminders. If one does not seek to replenish their spirit because of fear, the body is more likely to become forgetful, becoming more dense and depleting.

Spiritual growth and development, ultimately is about learning how to be in the unknown and accept life's challenges rather than resist them. One can therefore say that the greater the trust, the deeper our capacity to live love. Thus, our challenges and obstacles at living love is constantly confronting and therefore strengthening our faith- our belief in Spirit, the Truth of who we are.

When obstacles to growth and challenges occur, it is most beneficial to know that the necessary outcome is more Truth, more trust in ourselves, as a part of Infinite Source. It is best to focus on the outcome of what One can learn than to dwell in death, to acknowledge the challenge as a necessary death, but to focus on the spiritual qualities that are being derived from the experience.

This is how we evolve and grow spiritually.

A Message To All My Fellow Spiritual Warriors of Love: A note to take heed in difficult times

"Unreal love is another name for attachment, real love is very detachful" OsHo

(Tantra can be described as the Spiritual Warriors recognition of his/her ability to embrace love in a world that is constantly reacting out of fear)

Unreal love is compensatory. Real love is unconditional.
Unreal love seeks to be seen. Real love sees and therefore gives with compassion and pleasure, without expectation.
Without the healing of vision, real love does not manifest in form to its pure extent possible (with little or no fear).

Real love manifests in form when vision has been restored and fear has been replaced with the courage and the willingness of the Spiritual Warrior.

This is a process and an undoing.

Take heed.


Sometimes it is difficult to be real, unconditional love. There is sorrow and pain and discomfort. There is a lot of uncertainty in whether a person or people will love in return. There is still a great deal of fear.

In form, we all yearn to experience real love but many if not most of the world has been operating on a different variety of love called, emotional love. Emotional love is special love, as talked about in Course in Miracles; it is the kind of love we yearn for to get our emotional needs met, to hide our emotional wounds rather than uncover them so they heal. Emotional love is wounded love, in need of healing but in search of compromise and distractions. Real love, on the other hand, is transformational; it allows in love from the divine. The reason why so many people have not awakened to real love is because they have not fully allowed it in and because they have not yet experienced it in its purity through the body. For this reason, it is extra work, at times, to manifest real love within relationship and within ourselves. Any attempt at embodying real, unconditional love may feel difficult at times because it is, in fact, quite foreign to the body.


When one's restoration of sight is still in process, the heart is left tender oftentimes. It is vulnerable still to fear. The truth carries on in an open-hearted person because the person who stays open-hearted in love is manifesting more divine love to overcome the fear; however, much of this divine love is not yet fully received or acknowledged. Thus, the spiritual warrior struggles at times and even doubts whether she/he is even capable for the task. The fear can be paralyzing and so may leave the warrior in a rather short or long-term spiritual depression.

The fear can draw sickness and many kinds of death, all of which are for the disillusionment of the ego. The more disenchanted the ego, the more real love can manifest safely. The word "safely" is used because it is the death of fear and shame that creates sanity (love). It is the holding on of it that creates its opposite.

Thus, however, long the journey may seem, however difficult the ego may grasp, what is required is the letting go of the ego, the fear, the shame, the loneliness and even the depression.

To move further, from darkness to light, one must stay strong, committed and trust. They must be vigilant in their belief of an unconditional presence and love. Integrating light, to all degrees necessary, the advent of Truth allows peace and wisdom to shine through and heal the Warrior. It is through peace of mind and Love's eternal presence, felt through the body, that the Spiritual Warrior of Love is dependent and must remain open to. This presence is what gives the Warrior more courage to answer Love's call. This call is always moving the warrior toward wholeness/destiny.

Take heed.
Stay vigilant.
Be courageous to Love Self and Others.
Let go.
Trust.

THE GIFT OF SHAME

The gift of shame.

One would not think to realize that the gift of shame is great. Offering awareness of what has been hidden, the gift of shame offers us an opportunity to undo. To undo is to forgive; however many think that undoing is to be done with or complete.

To the contrary, undoing has little to do with how things look and more to do with the heart. Atonement, another word for undoing, is about clearing the air, the clouds of perception that block our ability to forgive and move forward. When we forgive that which shames us, when we forgive ourselves for the contribution that we make to the suffering of the world, we are more likely to make choices that are more holistic, unified and in the direction of love. In other words, it is learning how to forgive and love ourselves and each other unconditionally, that we are more apt to be citizens of change, trees that bear fruit and nourish the soil and our souls.

Acknowledging shame can be rather difficult for many and this is why is it a narrow road many do not think to travel. It is important to know that shame and fear are never absent within us but hidden in dark corners, which we choose to ignore oftentimes. For good reason, the shame we hide manifests as tendencies, habits and addictions.

Many do not realize (or consider) that their inability to confront shame is a result of many of their challenges, habits and addictions. A good reason, however, not to be blamed, is that we have not been brought up with the proper tools to alleviate the shame and fear that we all so desperately seek, albeit unconsciously.
While the gift of shame is an opportunity to build being- such as forgiveness, trust, faith, self-love, and compassion, many if not most of us were taught to focus rather on doing, manifesting, and creating.

A good question to ask in this case is, "Who is doing the creating?" Is it an ego that lives on fear and shame or an ego whose mind is directed toward God or Love? Some may contend that God is something to fear and that our shaming is our salvation from God. At the root of all of our undoing, lies this belief.

Thus, to become a creator of miracles, to become a bearer of light, purification is necessary and that purification lies not in shaming our shame or being perfect. Rather in acknowledging shame, we are offered an opportunity to forgive, to trust, and to build being.

It is in building being that we catalyze change.

Shining light on sexual repression: A return to Innocence

The innocent are on a different ground than that of the battlefield. The battlefield for many is full of contradiction, war and hate. Underneath it at the root is deeply embedded shame and fear passed on from generations. For the innocent however, the battleground is more like a playground. The playground might look the same as the battle ground to many; however the innocent are brought to higher heights of awareness that leaves them curious, tender and compassionate. Thus what looks to be a battleground is intermixed with opportunities that abound, flashes of light that those at war can not see.

The less pure of heart, clouded with shame and fear, therefore may look upon the innocent with shaming eyes. They do not want to leave their battleground and so keep fighting- suppressing and denying the true nature of their Source. Any realization to them that their battleground is nothing more than a playground, when they raise their awareness, leaves them ashamed and in fear, for why would they fight if this were true? Resentment fills the repressed, especially the sexually repressed. Resentment, anger and a lot of projection are full of the sexually repressed. They do not know what to do with their attacking thoughts and because society looks upon them with judging eyes, they sit on their anger and don't get up.

The sexually repressed do not budge until they are willing to heal, which entails a letting go of limiting beliefs. Until then, they sit and sit and sit with their limiting beliefs, stuffing what only gets bigger when they get up. The sexually repressed are never relaxed therefore. They are constantly doing things to make up for their discomfort and are consistently on guard and ready to fight.

When the innocent comes to greet them, they turn away very quickly. What they see in the innocent is themselves, but pure, sensual, and light. Feelings arise within seeing them much long forgotten.

When someone is pure of heart, we can no longer repress our anger, our shame and fear. When the innocent come forth, more light comes into the impure to be brought to awareness and healed. However, because so much has been repressed, the mind begins to fill even more with sex, shame and fear. This is the case for many individuals who are or have been sexually abused.

For healing to occur, the sexually repressed must be seen in us all. In shades of grey, to some degree, we all have denied and repressed the shame and fear of being a sexual and sensual being. For sexual repression does not just impact our limiting views and beliefs about sex, but even more, it impacts our relationship we have with ourselves about how much we can create, that is bring light, in the world. Sexual repression is seen is most facades of life as the polarity of belief in what it means to be a man and a woman, what it means to be in relationship and what it means to love. When we can love the shame and confront the fear, when we can integrate love into our shadowy thoughts, the light of the innocent, that is, the light of God, shines more fully in ourselves. It is in uncovering the layers of fear and shame, peeling back the old, that we can uncover what has always been- the purity of the soul.

In seeing the purity of our soul, we become powerful, courageous and full of light.

It is a process, an undoing, and a healing that we obtain the courage to love.

May we all be powerful, courageous and in love.

Emotional Sex and the Special Love Relationship

The thing about emotional sex is that it doesn't last long before the will desires something else. The will of a strong ego thrives on emotions and sex to it is like a tendency or habit that keeps it thirsty for more emotion- more thrill, more passion, more "specialness." The ego, because it has not learned how to meet its own needs, to see itself as the source of love, likes to delude itself in specialness from the outside. Sex is just one of many ways that the ego deludes itself to feel loved and while some sort of release may often be required for it to move forward from its loathing, it can't get enough until it learns that healing is required.

The healing that is required IS love, however Self-love is the true remedy. Self-love redeems, while emotional sex offers a temporary fix for the remedy. Many of our brothers and sisters do not move from this place of emotional sex, which is often requited of emotional love or the special relationship as written about in Course in Miracles.

The special relationship, emotional sex, and emotional love, often go hand-in-hand and all are because one has imagined needs, thoughts believed to bring end to suffering. The suffering, unbeknownst to many, comes from one root cause however; this suffering stems from the belief that we are separate from God.

Because the beliefs of separation and fear leave us oftentimes in negative, low-vibratory emotions, we see no way out, but through sex, habits and tendencies that we hide in ourselves and in each other. While there is in fact an unconditional force of love called the Universe, it is often not felt or experienced due to the low-vibratory emotions one emits. The seemingly "fixed" point of view that creates the emotion, leaves one unreceptive to the Unconditional Love of God that is present. This love is the true love that heals, while all else are quick-fixes to the remedy. Thus, until one becomes more aware of their emotions and begins to believe that they are holy loved and supported by the universe, the special love relationship and the emotional sex that comes with it will continue to proffer as substitutes.

Emotional sex and the special love relationship is neither "wrong" nor "right;" most of us benefit to some degree and we all eventually learn. However, emotional sex and the special love relationship can often be painful, beset with hidden agendas, unrealized expectations, guilt and shame. It is important to realize that there is, in fact, a way out of our suffering and this way out is through the unconditional love of Self and "other." While one may yearn to experience this love in the body through another body, one must oftentimes be the source of this love for its creation to be experienced. The meeting of a holy relationship, for which healing and Self-love are present, may seemingly take a long time, that the undoing of the special love relationship may seem like a trap. However, this is what it means to be on the "leading edge of thought." Built on faith alone, it means to become the source of love, directly connected to the Source itself, through our intention and commitment in bringing conscious love, that is Self-love to the world, often without evidence of return.

Emotions do not exclude a more conscious, self-loving relationship. Within a conscious love relationship, emotions offer and even enhance one's relationship to God. As opposed to the special love relationship, however, the conscious love relationship starts with Self-love. Because Self-love is present, it brings emotions of devotion and reverence, without shame or guilt, or giving-to-get. The conscious love relationship is a higher form of love, with the intention to bring unconditional love to it; sex, is one expression of this reverence.

As opposed to the blame, shame and disrespect that may form through emotional sex and the need to feel special, conscious love relationships brings emotions that are purely loving and with a loving intent. The fear behind not getting is an indication of the special love relationship.

While the special love relationship and emotional sex is mostly a thing we are born into, perpetuating itself through limiting beliefs and thoughts, the faith to move forward is the willingness to transform each special love relationship into a holy one. This means to remove fear from relationship, to take responsibility for and learn how to communicate pain without blame or shame. As sourced in Course in Miracles,

"The Holy Spirit knows no one is special. Yet He also perceived that you have made special relationships, which He would purify and not let you destroy. However unholy the reason you made them may be, He can translate them into holiness by removing as much fear as you let Him."

Thus, let us not make wrong or bad the longing for passionate and emotional sex, but see it for what it is: oftentimes, a need to feel loved and special. Let us integrate within ourselves Self-love and healing and raise each other up from our negative emotions to see the light of day.

May all desire and need to feel special be transformed into a more intimate relationship within ourselves, a conscious love.
May we transform all special, love relationships, giving to get, into pure love, giving as receiving.
May we have the integrity not to make guilty but see things for what they are.
May all special love relationships become holy, marked with respect and reverence for ourselves and each other.

Holding the seat of love: a process to Healing

"Disturb the comforted and comfort the disturbed" John McMullin, Journeys of Wisdom

For one to move forward in life, one must have the capacity to learn how to be comfortable in the uncomfortable; that is, to "disturb the comforted and to comfort the disturbed."

To disturb the comforted is what many people avoid. On the other hand, many other people do it at the cost of love, through blaming, shaming, judging and with closed hearts. To disturb the comforted is to integrate possibilities where one sees none. It is to confront ego attachments to being right, justified, and perhaps superior. Also, it is confronting manipulations, hidden agendas, and the excuses we make to hide our wounds.

The root of the problem is most often underneath our words, hiding in shame and fear, not to be disrupted or brought to the surface. If brought to the surface, anger is revealed; however, often, the anger is projected onto other people. One's anger may be the victim, "poor me" mentality, while another's anger may be more aggressive or passive-aggressive.

To be able to disturb the comforted, one must be firm within oneself that what they are confronting is not the Truth. Perhaps what is confronted is a relative truth that either inhibits or impedes there spiritual growth, and perhaps what is being confronted is not true at all. One must assume that they do not know, but be willing to confront what comes up as a possibility. Then, one must be strengthened enough to not take the defended ego personally. It is common, for one to be defended and take personally what is being confronted. To hold the seat of love through not reacting but being with can be the most healing part of the process.

Thus, when one considers the possibilities, more healing can be integrated. Until then, the tendency will be to scratch the surface, without any depth of feeling to emerge. This is likely to be the time when One's needs are more in learning tools to integrate how to self-love. To confront ego-attachments, hidden agendas, excuses, and ultimately, the beliefs we failed to feel, one must have a strong enough capacity to integrate love.

The process of healing is rooted is an ability to integrate love and confront ego-attachments, the obstacles to a deeper love.

Spiritual Evolution: between Judgement and Discernment

While "Judge not, that ye be judged..." (Mat 7:1) can be considered a sacred law, the interpretation of it may not be realized by many, for what is the difference between judgment and discernment? While judgement leads to fear, perpetuating illusions of separation, shame and guilt, one's discernment leads them to Truth; compassion, wisdom,and greater awareness of Self (realization).

To judge someone essentially is to miss the mark, to not see the True self, the Awakened One within the sleepless, crying child's wound reality of fear and separation. Most of the time, this wound is mirrored outside ourselves and yet, reflect to us our own internal beliefs, such as that we are guilty, bad, and unworthy. We internalized many beliefs when we were children and perpetuated them throughout life, through our judgments of "others" and inability to see ourselves clearly.


Perhaps we can say that to judge is to make guilty and real what it is we see with our two eyes, all that which there is to be ashamed and fearful of. By judging, we perpetuate illusions, feeding beliefs in fear and separation, forgetting the Truth within us. We suffer from the illusions of the world and yet we multiply them, by reacting in defense. "Judge not, that ye be judged," is a sacred law in that when we strive in life to withhold judgment, to see Love or Truth despite evidence, we realize more quickly and heal. To judge, on the other hand, is to perpetuate a horizontal view of reality in which fear and separation is the main view of life. To withhold judgment is to move vertically, closer to Heaven, toward greater peace, wisdom, and Oneness.

Discernment leads to salvation, but can be perceived as judgment oftentimes. This can cause us to doubt and shame ourselves and therefore, judge our choices. "What is love/Truth?" the spiritual warrior may ask at any given time, when faced with the challenge to choose. When faced with challenges and circumstances, the weight of discernment may feel judgmental and visa versa; it can leave one stuck in fear and another one doubting the choices they made.

True discernment is not based on judgment but on One's commitment to a greater Love. First, it is useful to realize that life is always leading us to learn. In everything, there are ALWAYS lessons that will help us to grow and mature and thus evolve spiritually. When we use discernment, we make choices, knowing that there really is no wrong choice, person, place or thing for which to separate ourselves from; every choice can help us to see clearly the Love inside the clouds of illusions that we perpetuate. A discerning mind is a state of mind that is filled with Love and compassion, yet choices to be made about which will lead us closer to our evolutionary potential. The discerning mind is one that is contemplative and directed toward Truth.

Discernment leads to Truth because it isn't that we make the "right" choices but that we follow our hearts and acknowledge the lessons along the way. In life, there are unavoidable lessons, which we all must go through; in order to realize Truth, we must, at least eventually, look at every experience as an opportunity to grow and learn. Thus, at any given time, upon making choices, we learn to look and be grateful for the opportunity which leads to growth and Oneness. Discernment helps us to realize the Truth within ourselves because our attention is primarily on making sure we see Love and making choices based on what we believe will bring us closer to it.

A discerning mind can be automatic, intuitive, and direct. At the same time, discernment may take weighting, looking at costs and benefits and tapping into deeper reserves of feeling. Ultimately, discernment leads us to Truth/salvation because we are making decisions based on our relative truth, the truth about how we think, feel, and honor ourselves.


When we trust ourselves, we are more open to the divine intelligence that speaks through and to us. While all choices may be perceived as consequential on some level, self-development and discovery comes when we trust; we commit to look inside long enough to listen, to find Truth: peace, understanding, and perspective.

A discerning mind confronts, acknowledges, makes requests, and ask questions based on the feelings and thoughts that come from the heart. A judging mind, on the other hand, assumes, expects, blames and shames for failing to understand. The discerning mind may confront in a way that the ego does not like, but its intent is not to judge or reject, however to set boundaries and honor their own evolutionary capacity to listen and honor themselves.

To discern is to make choices based on honoring one's capacity to embody the consciousness of love. The ego judges discernment as attack, however, and often fails to listen. The ego does not want to look at itself as the source of its judgment, but wishes to project it onto "others" who are really just listening and honoring their personal truth, as they see in the moment. The judging mind reacts to the discerning mind because it is wounded.

Thus, while judgment multiplies illusions, discernment leads to Truth. For one attacks and defends and the other does not. One makes guilty and ashamed, while the other sees Truth and moves closer to the vibrational frequency that matches that Truth. The discerning mind makes choices based on its commitment to a greater love and thus, travels vertically rather than horizontally. The ego-ic, judging mind makes wrong and attacks choices, while the discerning mind makes choices and then moves on.

To heal, one must become aware of how much they judge and how much this judgment leads them to Oneness, which is Truth. To become aware, one must have the courage to look at where in their life they resist seeing themselves, where it is they blame and what it is they shame (perhaps with a spiritual teacher, healer, or guide to help at first)... In looking at these things, one has the opportunity to realign with Truth and to discern their choices, however, with love still present. This is at least one way spiritual healing begins.

The primary difference between judgement and discernment is that One's focus is on Truth, seeing Love, and the other is not. To focus on Truth/Oneness/Love in the face of choices, and to discern, rather than judge, is healing and takes first our commitment. This supports our evolutionary development into the new Age of Aquarius.






















that we always have to make choices.


The "idols" in the dream, we may call them, the "enemies," is the perhaps the excuse we make tuck and earth bound.































, but


What it takes to heal them is the courage and capacity to go deeper within Oneself, to look inside and ack

the obscure images within one's own mind ..

.
and pereceived as judgment is the face of one's own ignorance of who they are.



what is the distinction between discernment and

Perspective: when adversity shows up.

When there is adversity outside, it is really a reflection of the adversity inside. The mirror in which seeing causes chaos is when one is unwilling to look at the lack of seeing herself in "others" and/or seeing from a further range of perspective, that she create her own self-adversity.

Oftentimes, the adversity opposes you because you oppose yourself and until you start to believe in yourself, the adversity wreaks havoc on your state of mind.
There will be people in your life to reflect where healing is called for and they will come and go as people who doubt, deny, and even react to the gifts which you bestow. They may come at different times and take many forms. Oftentimes, we reject seeing ourselves and what there is to learn; we fight, we run away, we make wrong because we don't want to feel the pain. However, the pain we must feel in order to move on, to realize there not true.

If we skip the pain, we often end up angry and resentful, judging and punitive. The truth of the matter is never at the surface, always deeper and harder to grasp. To believe that the adversity comes from your own self can be difficult to understand indeed. However, feel the pain, surrender, let go, and replace these difficult thoughts with thoughts of Truth and love. Keep your heart open and commit to see yourself within all. Then, you will see your "adversities" will be tackled and you will even realize them to have been necessary to your growth.

Does it mean there will not be people who resist what you offer? It does not; for big lights cast greater shadows and resistance to your light will surely occur. At the same time, the "adversity" once thought will no longer wreak such a havoc, as your confidence and courage grow to mean little in the face of adversity.

Love the wounded child? Yes, but even more, love the Truth and see that Truth in you as a gift and a light, with truly something worthy of being offered to. When you embrace your gifts with confidence, you will see that the adversity does not come without bigger lights to support you.

When fear and doubt emerge, we turn to God.

Think not that you are afraid for what looks to be lack or scarcity; we
are never upset for the reasons we think. What we think comes from somewhere else and that somewhere else merely seeks to multiply illusions and suffering. That something else feeds the belief in scarcity and would have us live in fear, withholding and withdrawn. It would have us practice the belief to such a degree that we create habit out of what it says, reacting to confirm that what we see is real. Hardly is what we see or believe the Truth of the matter. To our demise, we get stuck in views and one-way thinking only to portend more suffering.

When the time is ripe, the glory of God emerges fully alive in man. This is a time when man learns to pardon his old ways and instead,begins to practice- accepting and loving himself. “Over spiritual matters,” he may decide to take on the practice. Only until he willfully loves himself and "others," does he open himself up to receiving the love of God. Through experiencing this kind of unconditional love presence, he strives to bring it to all his interactions. Though this takes commitment, the more he embodies the love of God, the more convinced he is that he is loved.

Leaving more room for God to enter, a “new” man emerges from the ashes of what at least felt to him like death. Fully enlightened, is he? Perhaps he is but possibly not. In whichever case, he a forklift for humanity, inspiring and uplifting all that surround him. His heart rings with compassion like never before and he finds greater delight in simple pleasures; for him, there is nothing he cannot be grateful for.

Whose will is it but God’s alone that leads us to discover peace, unity and Oneness within our Self. “Suffer less, dear child; so that I may be at peace.” God the father may say, whose will is for you to see clearly, your brother and sister beside you, united as One. The will of God asks that you not be afraid of what seems to be lacking and instead choose to open your heart up to his will to love: forgive, accept, and trust.

These are the markings of a spiritual warrior because the spiritual warrior's greatest commitment is to will the love of God, despite the challenges and fears he/she may encounter. Through surrendering to love, one becomes more available to miracles and is guided.

Therefore, pray. When the voice of doubt, fear and shame are loud within you, ask for guidance. “May my will be thy will. May I want what you want,” is a prayer that helps us to align our actions with our intention to love God. Despite outer conditions, our commitment to see beyond what we think we know, see, think or believe puts us in alignment with the will of God. In surrendering our will, we grow our light and learn to listen. This is the sutra for the new age, "there is a way through every block." This way is the way of love and this love is God, beckoning each and everyone of us home. Make this your will so that at all times, you are a forklift and an inspiration, full of peace, wisdom and love.

May we emerge from the ashes, brighter,lighter, happy and free.

Amen.

Spiritual Growth and Development: the opportunity of success and failure

One might strive by placing demands on himself, believing that to sacrifice is to love God. In doing so, he places boundaries and limits on what he can and can not do, what is and isn’t appropriate. When he succeeds, he often projects in pride and feels himself to be more special than some, stronger, more capable, more deserving than others. When he “fails” at doing what he put out to do, he oftentimes suffers and makes himself wrong, suppressing his loving capabilities.

While the willingness to sacrifice and challenge oneself to being a servant to God, a mystic or a spiritual warrior, can be expressed and practiced outwardly, in physical form, it does not necessary conquer one’s ego-ic tendency to compare by making wrong or better what it is he does and doesn’t do. While the physical realm of reality is the playground in which the opportunity to experience heaven on earth becomes realized, it is not in focusing on what we do and don’t do that makes it possible. When someone looks to be doing a particular thing, he may or may not be practicing being the love of God, the keynote for any and all spiritual warriors and mystics. Thus, whether one’s demands on himself either succeeds or fails, the opportunity and spiritual growth come from his presence; that is, who he is being and how much he is embodying the consciousness of love.

It is important to realize therefore that there will be times that one may "fail" to match their internal commitment. At other times, one’s abilities may exceed their expectations by far. In either case, One must ask who the commitment is for: the body or God. If one’s commitment is of God, then he is bound to forgive himself and see unity in embracing humility, transparency, and humbleness. If one’s commitment is of the body, however, he is bound to make himself wrong and dismiss himself and those around him even more. In remembering God, one may realize that life is in not making wrong or comparing, justifying what is right, through what he does and doesn't do, but in embracing both success and failure as an opportunity to grow spiritually in either case.

Whether a seed, a idea, a new relationship, a project, ect. produces as success or failure, spiritual growth and development lies not in boasting, comparing or making wrong, but in moving forward, acknowleding mistakes, and embracing Self-love.

The Fine Art of Illusion

This life and what we see is an illusion. Everything that we see that is not of spirit or of God is untrue. Thus, one may choose to live in the illusion aware or unconscious. To do so is to either respond to the world in which we see out of love or to react to it out of fear. One draws us nearer to eternity, while the other further away. While fear perpetuates illusion, love creates what is real and is extended to “others” living in the illusion. Love is created through presence, through forgiving, accepting and through sharing.

When one chooses with awareness to live the art of illusion, then they are choosing to live from a world in which love is the foundation for all their relations. Fear, on the other hand, is to be confronted and addressed within.

Mystics, they may be called, are the bringers of heaven on earth and the example of the children of God, in which, Jesus taught:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he can not enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ (John, 2:20-3:18)

To be reborn, as water and Spirit, is to be a bearer that is committed to light and love and to bringing peace to this world. To be born again is to see a return of innocence, a pure-heartedness, vulnerability and playfulness.

We are all meant to see these “mystics” in ourselves and our expression of It may vary. We are meant to bring each other home by emulating their love, appreciating their spirit and working to address our own fears and human weaknesses. However we may choose to live in the illusion, it is first and foremost brought with the consciousness to bring love to it. Whether the consciousness of one brings them to glamour and fame or to be a householder and settler does not matter so much as the love that they carry, the example of which is loving, kind, and on purpose. Thus is the case that wherever One's light is carried, regardless of what they do, how they dress, and where they visit, those around It will become elevated and increase their own light as well.

Spiritual Emergence leading to Crisis: Shakti Pad

Spiritual Emergence leading to Crisis: Shakti Pad
Shakti Pad: The stage of the Practitioner

Along the path of wisdom, of spiritual development, we meet at Shakti Pad. This is the stage of the practitioner and is "the most crucial, transitional, and challenging of all the stages." This stage determines whether we progress toward mastery. In my textbook "The Aquarian Teacher" Level 1 manual, what is required at this stage is the "ability to choose a goal, fix on a motivation, and consciously commit to a set of values."

This stage of spiritual development is also "the test of power." Where decisions are done out of habit or unconscious patterning, doubt prevails, commitment is lost. The practitioner does not excel past this stage until he gives up what he thinks he knows is best, the desirable, and begins to embrace trusting what he doesn't know. This is why Yogi Bhajan describes this stage to the next as determined by a leap of faith rather than a rope which connects the practitioner directly to the master.

"The experience of this type of decision-making is often unpleasant and frightful. It is beset with uncertainty and often fills the practitioner with doubt. It is a perilous and existential moment. It is an agonizing decision- a question of identity and commitment. The decision is made through deliberate effort to reach the correct perspective of the whole, and to discern the true significance of the decision."

If the practitioner looks at the whole situation and consciously acts from the whole or part of the whole, this period in training will be won with trust, healing, and a greater connection to God or ONE Self. Thus, it is at this period where the test of one's belief in God is most challenged. It may be a dark period and for some cultures or religions, this stage of spiritual development is where we go through the "mystic death," the death of the "false" self or the ego. At this stage, the practitioner struggles with his belief in God and higher intelligence. He may resort to blaming God or other people for his problem and fall back on old ways of doing and being that do not serve him or his higher Self. Maybe he forgets what it is he truly wants and because he is fraught with so many difficulties within himself, he becomes depressed. The practitioner in crisis who finds himself aware of the alternate reality struggles with this reality because he is still afraid and his trust has not yet outgrown his fears. Thus, he clings to what he knows as much as he can. Possibly, the practitioner feels that he is losing his mind and indeed he may. However, the possibility of "no" mind could be a gift, as the practitioner becomes more aware of himself, he finds himself less reactionary and more in trust of the "unknown." His glass is empty and because of this, he can be a great teacher, guide, and lover to all. If he falls predator and prey to fear, however, he could suffer a great deal; his heart will not be interwoven with his decisions. If this is the case, he must always return to balance through actions having to do with heart, that is through self-love and service to others.

At this stage of development, we find that the ego wants to hang on while the ONE self desires to let go. This is perhaps what OSHO describes as schizophrenia. This stage in spiritual development is beset with uncertainty and perhaps can be described by some as "the dark night of the soul."

Some practitioners at this stage do not experience ego-death and may wonder why they should have to. Their ego gets stronger and they become more imbedded in the web of illusion, also known as maya, which is beset with karmic influences and universal laws. The practitioner may blame God or other people because his ego believes they are more deserving and they resent having to have to go through anything at all. They retreat back to old ways of being without seeing the hint of what there is to learn or heal from. The ego does not want to see oneness; however the practitioner in spiritual crisis is being jolted to practice what he himself resists and yet must see. The ego strives for control, certainty and specialness and becomes ignorant, depressed, isolated, and/or split thus leading to even more dissociative thoughts that make him seem crazy to "others," who are also unaware of the spiritual nature of the "problem." The practitioner succumbs to fear and and can not see light; however the light is always there.

I share this information because there doesn't seem to be a lot of talk of "Shakti Pad," or spiritual emergencies. I feel called to share this information, because I know that for some, a spiritual emergency can happen on a unconscious level, meaning without intent of a spiritual emergence or awakening. For those who are on a spiritual quest, perhaps this writing will be a sign to stay on track or an offering of some kind. It is my understanding that some spiritual emergencies are actually "kundalini awakenings" that can lead to greater connection to oneself and God. However, without the awareness or preparation, this experience can lead to crisis. This is why the path of healing is so important and especially at this time. If we aren't on a path of healing from the ego-ic mind, the separated self, we can be unaware of the true nature of dis-ease and dissociative disorders which lead to fatigue and more depression. We must all be on a path of healing to prepare ourselves for the spiritual emergence that is occurring at this time.

I gather this information partly from books as well as from intuition, personal experience and observation.

Tale and Prophesy

There exists many fears that can but be narrowed down into one. The fear of being alone calls one to react, to the degree of all other fears and leaves the Child of God forgetful and withdrawn. The fear of being alone, therefore, is rooted in the forgetfulness of one's own nature and what he seeks to find is validation from those whom also forget their own nature. Thus is the world created, for the fear of being alone leads to all other fears and causes one to cling to the body, at the cost of his spirit.

While the spiritual warrior transitions from fear to love, he finds himself feeling fear but also aware of his nature, stronger than ever before. For what he now knows is that he is loved and in this knowing, he is protected with wisdom, grace and peace of mind. Because he now knows that he is never alone, he finds himself more courageous and with a desire to serve. With gratitude in his heart, the fear subsides. As he remembers Truth beside him, he knows It never leaves. It becomes his guiding light.

The spiritual warrior walks with those beside him, also, gathering light on their way. They stop and see and become attracted because in them, they see themselves. So they unite as One, blessing the world and bringing peace.

Now there are those who do not wish to see and reject the light because they do not feel hope and think they fail. Their belief is that they are alone and because of this, they do not wish success on anyone, except themselves. Their success is hardly that, for it is never good enough and because of this, they have to continuously re-inject the drug of what they think makes them but doesn't. The spiritual warrior gathers strength in compassion and in seeing Truth, for while his light alone can not bear witness to Its correction, the light of All combine to point the way.

Thus, a new world is created, for the light that bears brings light to all, and even for those whom wish to deny, they will see that the light is for themselves to love and seek wisdom in their learning.

Thus is a new world created, when brothers and sisters unite, to bear witness to the transformation that occurs when we teach love by being it; thereby, we grow our inner light even more.

Thus is the new world created, when boundaries dissolve, and we see the Truth of all and the sameness in what we fear.

Thus is the new world created, when we see our light and know that something greater is what clears the path.

AMEN

The Fear of Failure

Fear of Failure


One may look out in the world and fear failure to exist and so compare himself to a point of confusion that he stands still and does nothing.

The belief of failure is a belief of something at stake, a fear rooted in losing something, i.e. material things, power, control, love, stability, pride. It is rooted in a fear of what it would mean if loss took place, i.e. “I’m unworthy,” “I’m unlovable,” “I’m alone.”

All losses however are illusions that upset ego structures, which we either shed or build upon as a result. Oftentimes, failures feed upon each other through internalized beliefs that prevent one from seeing themselves clearly. So when failure seems to exist within relationships, projects, and business, the ego structures grow to protect from internalizing the belief, pain or loss, which it does not want to feel or acknowledge. Invariably what this leads to is more pain, for the ego reacts out of fear of failure in ways that are self-sabbotaging; through justifing, shaming and blaming self or “others” for having “failed,” one creates more opportunities for failure to exist. Through feeding the belief in scarcity, being alone, being separate, one is more likely to stay stuck in a fear of failure.

When “failures” seem to occur, One should therefore ask,

“What can I learn to grow and evolve, to be a better person than I am today, through this experience.”

“How does my fear of ________, reflect my current failure?”

When we see failure, solely, as an opportunity to grow, we can also see that failure does not mean anything. When things happen and we make a mistake or something goes wrong, we are meant to surrender and let go and see where we can grow and learn. Rather than internalize beliefs, failure is meant to shine light on our Oneness, through seeing that we are not alone. Failure is also meant to shine light on where we can grow, where and what the obstructions are that we put in our own way to prevent us from evolving into One.

When we embrace failure, success is inevitable, because we let go and are able to move forward. To move forward is to be moving in the direction of the creative impulse that desires Itself to expand and serve out of love. Thus, “failure” becomes a synonym for success in that it becomes a practice opportunity to let go, surrender, and see Oneness.

When memories arise: evolving from pain

The memories which arise tell you what you have hidden and are to be acknowledged and learned. While the memory may seem random and out of sorts, it is not according to the holy spirit; for what has arisen is an opportunity to heal through acknowledging the mistake or error which One is meant to correct.

While it is not "bad" nor is it "wrong," the memory which comes into awareness is what has been unconsciously hiding, suppressed and denied out of the guilt, shame and fear of reprimand. This memory is meant to show the unconscious guilt, shame and fear, that was created by the denial of it having occurred.

The memory is responsible, at least in part, to the formulation of habits and tendencies, which create more guilt, fear, and shame. Thus, when the memory arises, one may not enjoy it to the degree that they suppress and deny it longer. This can create problems for the memories come into awareness gently at first. However, when long denied, the memories may manifest in overwhelming degrees as mental, emotional and physical stress. It is not because one is being punished that the memories or feelings manifest at such inappropriate timing and under stressful conditions though, for One's desire to evolve and grow, perhaps unconsciously, has himself create "punishment" and dis-ease to become more conscious and therefore free.

Memories that come into awareness may manifest as degrees of mental, psychological and physical dis-ease when not acknowledged and felt and should therefore be considered a gift when they arise. The gift it brings is the opportunity to heal what has long become unconscious guilt, shame and fear. While there are degrees of pain, shame and fear, experienced in acknowledging particular memories, it is helpful to seek guidance and loving support when the pain is too great and overwhelming to look at. When it is not so painful, however, the memory can simply be acknowledged and therefore corrected.

When the memory arises, we heal that part of ourselves that reacted by acknowledging the mistake and opening our heart to be forgiven. We will want to feel forgiveness in our hearts and for this to occur, we want to process the pain there as well. It is also good to welcome the holy spirit, by asking for Its help. To forgive, also, we may be called to build courage and communicate, to apologize, to acknowledge the pain caused or inflicted by oneself or another.

Suggestions for when memories occur
how to heal them:

Ask:

How come this memory is coming into my awareness?
Is there an associations regarding this memory in present time that I should be aware of?
What can I learn about this memory?
How might this memory have affected my ability to love in the present?
I acknowledge that this memory created pain for me (or someone else), what can I do to restore love to my relationship (with myself, God..)?
What would I like to be and do the next time this happens?

"I ask for help in remembering this pain when/if it happens again."
"I forgive myself so that I can learn and be the best I can be, in service to my Creator."

Special Relationships and the Contracts that Bind

When in relationship, it can be more difficult to maintain one's own energy.
Generally, a cord is tied, a giver and receiver, an exchange of energy in which one lacks, the other gives, and visa versa. However done unconsciously, the cords are agreements that we make within relationship that, ultimately, teach us what we need to learn to grow.


Fear creates fear and so it is that fear perpetuates like a wheel turning with the momentum of whatever thoughts were fed. Fears that perpetuate within relationship temporarily seize fear through the comfort of another, through feeling special and giving one's energy to make them feel special in return. However really what it can do is distract one from seizing cause to seek the root of the fear and dealing with it from within instead. The cord can therefore perpetuate fear through the self-limiting beliefs that another is needed in order to relieve us of it. Since also the need for distraction is from fear- one becomes at odds within himself, making himself wrong for his distractions even more.


So fear can perpetuate through our distraction of its cause and the time which is necessary to extract that cause seems to grow dim as the demands of the day and relationship grows within oneself. Now, one's energy to believe in the Truth of who he is becomes shaken with beliefs not his own, and also with the illusions of who he thought he was but is still realizing is not.


The Truth we all want is to deepen our relationship with God and while we seek outside for this, the answer that we long for lies within. Thus, we must cultivate a relationship within ourselves, in order to be healthy in any seemingly other relationship outside. While the ability to have healthy relationships outside greatly helps and supports the evolution of one's being, it is not alone possible without intimacy with Self first. This intimacy with Self is in reality, intimacy with God and is done through introspection, self-inquiry, and feeling Its presence by opening to It.


Because the expression of God is unique within all, it is difficult to feel complete while senselessly striving to maintain specialness within relationships, which we often end up doing. To seek specialness in relationship is to make up and distract from cause the root of suffering which helps one to realize their unique gifts that they are meant to share with all, not just one.


The awareness of a contract or an agreement that was made between two people within relationship is as necessary as for both individuals as it is for one. However, it is in seeing this contract as a gift in which one has benefitted at the cost of something else, that one's grows and learns. Thus, whether the relationship stays or goes, the gift of what it brought is to be relished for without having it be shown, it becomes a tendency, or unconscious habit, that leaves us in the dark, feeling hopeless and without an awareness of its cause.


The gift which is the essence, the presence, and the learning is the value to be wholly is one's own energy,which is that of God itself and nothing else. When contracts become seen, in which each one uses the other to distract from God by focusing on the body, through comfort and specialness, at the cost of seeing wholeness, then and only then can new contracts be established. Oftentimes, instead, we focus on the body and cut cords, only to realize that they later come back in a new partner or relationship, to yet again, be brought to our attention. Only until new contracts are made and the old one's seen, can we realize what it is like to be in our own energy, which is more of love and less of fear.


Dismiss not the relationships that come into play to see what we do and don't do to hide from love the pieces and parts in need to heal. See how we look upon special relationships to distract from what we want and hide in others our pain of what we think is not there but is. Let go of fear of being alone and seek unity within self to see and be complete and whole now, without neediness or clinging to a sense of it outside. Seek to know Self, so that when interacting outside, It shines through and the unique expression of It is wholly your own. Seek not to make the neediness for love outside "wrong" but affirm that it is from within we see ourselves, that another may look upon himself and see something wholly within that he may emanate It through his own work on how to love himself.

Spiritual Crisis as Opportunity

Sometimes the main purpose in life and in what i do is just simply in being grounded, present and aware of who I am as a child of God. I don't believe this is expected to be easy. Sometimes, I need to keep affirming It as me. Sometimes, I just know. When I experience the energy of God running through me, I can feel it as pure joy, full of love, wisdom, peace, and warmth. I welcome it and then, I feel Its energy in my hands and It teaches me and tells me things that I would not ordinarily know. Oftentimes, my clients will confirm it back to me by saying how loving and nurturing my hands are and feeling themselves in a greater state of peace than before they saw me. Other times, I just know because I feel great, totally in the flow and in my body. I imagine this is how people feel when they are happy but they just wouldn't call this energy, God, as I do. I am also quite clear that this energy is for everyone, within us all.

I realize how grounded and centered I need to be in my work and in my life though and for the past couple of weeks, with great wonder, I have also been feeling a sense of anxiousness, of fear- judging myself for what I do and don't do, It is not like I never experienced this before, but it is somewhat more intense. Perhaps because I am more aware of it and myself, that it is somewhat foreign to me. Perhaps it is also that I do not react the way I use to so unconsciously by projecting my fears as easily. I find that my time is spent on JUST needing to focus on being grounded sometimes. The fear is unusual as of lately and it manifests as a lack of clarity and disruption. I believe it is a tool to awaken me more into my true self, that I become more grounded and energized to take on more energy. My system is preparing for something bigger. I don't know what really and I need to let this idea go but it is quite possible and sensible to me. Even considering this prospect gives me energy. While fear of losing my mind would enter, there is also a sheer presence and knowing that this is an opportunity for me to grow. This is my cause and this is how I will help people too. Obviously, this is my path.

So I write to log my experience but I am also knowing the need and desire to turn everything off. I need to let go of everything and commune in nature, unplug from everything, as one of my guides confirmed. The trees have particularly taken a liking to me and I talk to them now. I feel they talk to me and sometimes, they entice me with their textures into pure joy. They are a great resource of peace for me, to give and receive love. There are times, when I think of them or I touch them and I immediately experience great release and tears flowing. I love and appreciate them now more than ever.

The guy I am dating pointed out laughingly that his sister had a similar experience with her environment and in nature, just before "she lost her mind." I believe him with intrigue and also, I don't believe that it is possible for me to go "insane." While many people might account that my experiences, my beliefs and ways of being are "insane," I trust the divine intelligence in me to tell me what I need to do to live in peace, wisdom and sheer joy, more and more, ever-lasting. While the pull into "insanity" is quite easy without resources, tools or trust in guidance through intuition, it is in ITS strength, ITS wisdom, and Its teaching me to be grounded that I am saved.

For the teacher of God...

The message is always for the messanger first; however, one does not need to be perfect to teach. In fact, when one teaches, he learns and in learning, he begins to embody what he teaches more and more. As he understands the teaching for himself, his presence magnifies into twice, triple or even greater times it was when he started.

Problems happen when the teacher of God does not realize this, however. While he teaches, he must realize that he is also still learning. So while the student/client comes to him for a lesson, they also come to teach the teacher about himself or a part of himself. The greatest teacher is the student therefore and takes every experience, every encounter, as an opportunity to integrate greater wisdom within himself.

It is to be expected that sometimes the teacher will stumble at his teachings and will feel out of integrity, for the love of what he teaches has not yet caught up with his actions of being and doing. The reason is because the teachings come into his life from somewhere else, not of the body, and is for the teacher to integrate within himself first. Though he may teach, the teaching becomes magnified when it is learned and embodied and so all teachings must be practiced. These practice opportunities can be a struggle at times as the ego will surely love to prove his teachings wrong and create for him doubt.

Practice opportunities are always and everywhere to forgive the ego. Rather than make it wrong and react to it, forgive it. For the ego is the mind of doubt and will tell you many things to sabbotage your best efforts at being a "qualified" teacher. It will sabbotage your greatest efforts at loving yourself and "others" for not being perfect. It will try to make you believe that you are alone and that life is scarey, so that you keep reacting out of fear and perpetuating it therefore. This is how the ego grows and yet it is important to not get stuck here and make yourself wrong; for reacting out of fear is what the world has taught you to do and since you were born to learn, it takes work to undo.

Be patient with yourself for when you react out of fear, it is the act of self-compassion and not of doubt that you move forward. In self-compassion and love, courage grows and fears dissolve as your commitment strengthens. Trust that this is so for the mind of God would not have you react out of fear but tell you that there is nothing to fear. The more that you see, the more Its love will compel you to teach and inspire and grow.

(As an exercise, you can read this out loud to yourself, replacing the words "he" or "you" (2nd/3rd narration with "I" (first) :)

The Guilt that Feeds Salvation

The guilt that feeds salvation:

Think not bad that guilt is meant to tell you anything other than where you are to acknowledge your place in Heaven. Guilt is but a sign that where you have been led to deceive yourself is not the home which you are choosing rightfully. If you chose with awareness of who you are, you would gladly choose Heaven but instead you choose suffering because you do not know. When you forgive you are choosing Heaven because in Heaven all sins are forgiven. In heaven, your Father knows that the reason you suffer from guilt is because of what you were fed into believing you are not. Let guilt then be an acknowledgment to your Father that what you do, you do not know and because of this, let it not lead you astray, but into the comfort of your Father's arms. Your Father who loves you will carry you and this in turn will help you love yourself.

Your Father in Heaven forgives you but that is not enough; for your suffering to disappear also relies on your ability to open your heart to those whom also need your forgiveness. This is why it is important that you realize who you are: a child of God and not a mere idol playing the game of cards with his follies. Competing to win, to feel special, to appear better is but an illusion you feed when you do not forgive and although some may be more hurtful than “others,” recognize that it is not them and forgive them for they know not what they do.

Let guilt then be indicative of forgiveness and have them go hand in hand. Whether it is yourself or another, let it be that the guilt you share is but a dream that offers you salvation when you forgive and acknowledge it. On earth, when you forgive your brother and your sister, you will realize its reward because it will catapult you quickly into heaven, where you will feel yourself more free. At times, it may be difficult to forgive; you will not feel honest with yourself and therefore, the reward of freedom will come gradually as you trust it to be so. Have faith however that every intention to forgive is acknowledged and will free your heart whether you feel it now or later.

While you seek escape through sex, there you still lie.

Sexual healing: While you seek escape through sex, there you still lie.

We seek escape through habits, tendencies and compulsions that later create regret, guilt, fear and shame. The compulsion for sex without intimacy is rampant and seen in many corners of life.

While men finds the presence of God within woman so appealing, there is no harm here but in his compulsion for sex. While desire for sex is natural, the divine feminine within yearns to escape, to be free, to be one with all. Because sex seems to be the only way sometimes for this integration, man compulsively thinks and acts in ways that self-sabotages his effort for integration to occur. As the ego lives in conflict, it seeks sex rather than union. The true conflict which is always within himself is then compromised for the integration he seeks is not in sex, but in knowing God.

First, while man seeks sex, he also fails to realize that what he/she really wants is within himself and so his compulsion for sex, he thinks, is frustrating to him. Because he can not bear his thoughts, he seeks sex through ego tactics and manipulative ways that make him or her seem special. He suppresses his deep longing for union with his own divine nature, at the cost of instant gratification: sex without intimacy. Down under, the specialness he seeks through manipulating is really fear- fear of rejection and of being alone, which the ego seeks to cover up, however only creating more of it in return.

This is self-sabotage, because as he turns himself away from his true self, he undermines his ability to give and receive love, what he truly wants. This undermining to give and receive love thrwarts his best efforts at living a creative life, as his compulsion becomes focused on the goal of sex and feeling special, rather than union.

The ego created specialness exactly to distract man from realizing his true nature, as One with God. Thus is the case that man begins to make himself wrong and think himself bad or guilty for not only his thoughts but his compulsion for sex. He does not trust himself and because of this, the conflict becomes greater. Turning himself away from God even more, he ignores the guiding light, the way through every block. This light never leaves however much he ignores it, as it is impossible to separate himself from God. Through not listening to himself, man fills with guilt and shame, though projecting it as if it were someone else’s. Out of this fear and shame, he believes he is punishable by God, rendered useless and unworthy.

It is not God, but the ego, whose attempt to turn us away from God, only leads us to destruction, leaving the kundalini energy, the energy of awakening, dormant. Because it is dormant, it does not know its true nature nor can it recognize it fully in anyone else. This dormant energy, constantly being suppressed and denied, through guilt, shame and fear, undermines his ability to become self-realized, courageous, and therefore, truly free. Thus, while his compulsion for sex could transcend into higher realms and ways of being that reflect unity and oneness, he settles warring minds instead. For the ego and because of what it taught, he believes compulsion for sex as escape is best, for who would he be without it. Less than a man, he claims, however, not realizing escape from fear is the reason.

As this man awakens, more and more, he will become a beacon of light, as his compulsion for sex dissipates into more meaningful acts and focused devotion to the One whom he realizes provides for him everything. As the awareness of the truth with which he truly longs becomes known, he regains trust, rooted in purpose and protected by God’s love. His awareness creates ripples of awakening, in the direction of Spirit, and away from the demise of the ego.

With this said, think not bad that the compulsion for sex means more than what it is- an illusion that masks the deeper longing to see and be One in the eyes of God. Though afraid and in need of love, we seek escape without realizing that the presence of God is always already near and so we focus on the body at the cost of union within ourselves and “others.” We seek specialness at the cost of being free, as sex without intimacy becomes a compulsion or escape, rather than a heart felt desire to be One with God. For this reason, we do not know who we are in reality: spirit having a human experience, a child of God, nor do we know what this means.

Forgive yourself, your brothers and sisters, until you realize that all sins are forgiven and that you need only direct your attention to who you are in reality that you become truly free. Forgive yourself for this awareness may bring with it a hinge of guilt and because of such, you will want to ignore and dismiss its truth in you. However, the guilt isn’t reality, so much as a reality check, a reminder of what is needed to be acknowledged, to cleanse your heart of what you have all but burried and suppressed within you. In this, you fear, however, do not; for the awakening upon you is near and all that you have hidden will be undone, with or without your preparedness.

Be not afraid of who you are but be willing to release who you aren’t.

stay calm: short poem

stay calm, admist the storm.
when the breeze seems a bit turbulent
and the thoughts seem a bit loud.
stay calm admist the storm.

stay calm admist the worry.
and let your fears subside.
let go of thoughts of doubt and hurry.
stay calm admist the worry.

stay calm admist not knowing
and embrace the light of faith.
where heaven opens all its doors and always keeps you safe.
stay calm admist not knowing.

accept. trust. let go. breathe.

When you confront...

Confront without shaming or making guilty.
Confront your own fear to have the capacity to confront theirs with them.

When you confront, do it with love or not at all.
Do it without attachment.
Do it with grace, in knowing that what you confront, it is not the truth, it is not the whole truth.
The truth is love and what you confront is ego.
When you confront, they may feel fear, shame. They may feel guilty.
The awareness that you bring may be difficult.
They might not be ready for it and it may come as a surprise.
Therefore, confront only if they ask for it.
When you confront, they must also feel your love, your compassion.
However, they may not be open to receiving it either.
So they may project. They may deflect. They may defend themselves for what is being confronted; it is the exact thing that they have been protecting themselves from.
This is why when you confront, you must do it without attachment, but with love in your heart.

If they are defended, get clear about what they heard you say.
Let them repeat what you said back to you.

Hold the seat of love for what comes up.

When you confront, do it without attachment.
Do it with curiosity and wonder.
Do it knowing that
there is no right.
nor is there wrong.
Only know that it may help them.
and do it without a care of knowing further.
Hold the seat of love, with compassion in your heart.
Hold the seat of love, with the only real knowing that
who they are is LOVE.

exploring madness

When the "dog" barks, it keeps on yapping.
When this occurs, we want to shut the dog up, to be quiet.
At first, we do our best to nicely tempt the dog to calm down. We have it in our heart to say to the dog, "It'll be o.k. I love you dog. Everything will be alright." We hold the dog. The dog feels your love and you know it because he is calmer and yapping less. This seems to help not only the dog, but ourselves. "Ahhh," we say. "The dog has stopped yapping and now I have peace. Finally, I am at peace!"

Then we put the dog down.

Momentarily, the dog is calm but then he hears a sound and starts yapping again. He won't stop. Anger starts to build in the body, "Damn dog!" Any compassion and understanding for the dog becomes background to the louder voice that just wants to shut the dog up. Perhaps, one will do his best to hide the dog. He will tuck him away somewhere that he can not hear. He'll put a leash on him so that any "others" will not be so disturbed by the yapping as he. Perhaps he'll curse at the dog and go as far as to kick the dog. Essentially, he will deny, suppress, and project onto the dog his own lack of inner peace and understanding.

For those seeking to be one with God, who is unconditional love, the anger will be felt in the body. "If I am one with God and God is unconditional love, what would love do?" The seeker asks. S/he will notice the ego-ic mind running a muck, attempting a plot to teach the dog, and then see it for what it is: fear, a projection of shame. The seeker will be pulled between his seemingly "natural" impulse defenses and tactics and accepting the dog for who he is and knows him to be in truth: love, a unique expression of God.

For the seeker attempting to be one with God through love and acceptance, the effort may seem tireless and futile. It is important to find altenative ways of release. Healthy ways to communicate, as well as other attempts to release not only the built up frustration of circumstance and lack of control, but also of all projections of anger, resentment, and sadness toward any seemingly "other." It is also important to take space, "let go," when one is attempting to unify and feels himself "pushing the envelop." Ultimately, our commitment and intention to love and unify in oneness will override the ego's attempt at separation.

This is the difference between sanity and insanity in a nutshell:

Sanity sees love.
Insanity reacts out of fear.

Which one are you committed to?

Vigilance in Truth: Overcoming Doubt

When in doubt, remember.

THe ego would love to have us fall back asleep to its comforting, yet self-sabotaging ways. It is that voice that tells us that we need to react out of fear for if we didn't we would not last. Going beyond the ego, the fears, takes courage and more and more courage it takes, for to live a life of truly being one's true self, takes more and more defiance of the ego, which it does not like.

The ego at this time, because of our awareness of it, gets louder, and yet because of our awareness, too, are we able to discern it from the truth that God, our father and mother in heaven, are guiding us every step of the way, if we choose them. This knowledge grows us in courage and we become unstoppable co-creators of love; Even still, however, feeling fear and sometimes doubt.

Doubt is a transitional period and it will not last the more we live courageously in truth. It is the ego's demise, the struggle within all spiritual warriors. Doubt will have us believe we are less than love, less than unique, mere idols to be played and fed by circumstance, unsupported and punishable by God. Doubt is what has us compare ourselves, looking outward for confirmations of our deeper truth.

It is doubt we must kick out of our mind. This again takes vigilance and remembering. It would be wise to take time and space filling our coffers with love and wise words, affirming our place in the world through affirmations, inquiry, acknowledgment, and/or other forms of mantra.

For this we must remember that the one and only law is the law of love and the energy that doubt would have us replace takes vigilance and remembering.

Replenishing the water, life force energy.

When one is not taking care, sometime the river will dry. When this river dries, the convergence for which it merges becomes "hopeless." Negativity ensues. One must let their river, their lifeforce energy, their vitality, their capacity to be in the world and not of it, flow. Consider when the water dries, what is it that is needed to replenish it? Is there anything that is creating the water to dry up specifically? "Is there anything in the way that I have created to prevent more water from entering?"

When the water stops flowing, it stays still and after a while, the water becomes murky and dirty. No one wants to swim in it or enjoy this water. The life force energy gets cut and then it dries in its own self-loathing and negativity. Then, it starts to make everything wrong around it. It starts to blame and protect itself. It creates barriers around it. So the water stops flowing and the sun comes and eventually it becomes putrified and then it dries up.

When water dries and life force energy stops flowing, it creates a lot of fire. Is it anger? Ask Self, what am I afraid of that has me hold on to this anger? Is it sadness? What is it that has me afraid to let go of sadness? In chinese medicine, fire that is out of control is related to deep sadness, even mania. When the water of your coffers dry, ask yourself, "Have my thoughts turned toward darkness that I see no light?" or "Have I been living and reacting out of fear, that I stopped loving myself?"

Self-sabotage is often the case, in which we dry our river and prevent flow from entering. We sabotage ourselves because we are afraid. There is a part of us that benefits through choosing tendencies and habits, self-loating and blaming others. Eventually, however, the water dries and we stop loving ourselves. We stop loving people we are in relationship with too.

One must make extra effort at this time to replenish the water, the soul, the body, and the mind. Look at what way of being is obstructing the flow. Probably, it is a fear of some kind. Ask yourself, "how can I love myself today?" and do/be it!

Perhaps, when our water dries up, we may feel stuck because we have made more commitments than we can handle. If this is the case, choose your circumstance powerfully and that will be enough to create more flow, replenishing the waters of Self. Perhaps from this, an idea will come of what you can do. Perhaps, from this, you will realize your circumstance or situation could benefit you and another and that it has a purpose. From this, your attitude will change and so will how you feel.

Manipulation

Manipulation.

The ego, living in its insane world would have us believe that to have something or someone within reach requires manipulation. On the subtle level, manipulation can be used intentionally, with some awareness, and unintentionally, without awareness or unconsciously. Either way, manipulation is done out of fear and only creates more guilt and shame, karma and illusion that will eventually have to be surfaced, whether in the form of crisis or emergence.

Manipulating really stems from a fear of not being able to be oneself. The more able one is be in the world without fear, the more courageous to be oneself and the less manipulative therefore. As the new age dawns, we will eventually become more and more aware of our self-deceptive ways and the unconscious manipulation created through the fear of not being oneself. This awareness and the subsequent choices may look many ways.

On one end, it will bring with it self-love, the presence of a love that is divine, warm, understanding, a guiding light. This guiding light will help us to be more courageous, to communicate and confront fear and it will also bring greater acceptance of oneself and therefore the world. On the other end, it will bring more fear, a sense of shaming one’s shame for being manipulative. This could manifest as more self-loathing, tendencies and habits that are self-destructive. This shaming of shame is really the ego’s demise, for only with awareness can the fear dissolve. The ego, which lives on guilt, shame and fear, will want to hold on to the fear, to keep manipulating therefore. One may find him or herself in a battle of light and dark, between love and fear.

It is good therefore to take extra time for self-love practices, incorporating throughout the day- daily affirmations, present moment awareness- of beauty, gratitude and love, a practice devoted to being One with God, loving the body and nourishing the soul. Because we have been so programmed to react in ways that are defended, to hide our guilt, shame and fear, we also must practice forgiveness. While greater awareness of that which we do not like may be difficult, it is in doing the work that we become clear, more in truth, which is love.

It is also important to note that because One becomes more aware of manipulation within Self, he or she may also become more aware of it in "others." Do not make this real by reacting to it, for to react, would be to bring it into existence and make it true, creating more of a wall or barrier. Instead, stay centered. If someone seems to be manipulating, state how what was done made you feel. It will get easier with practice and over time.

Seeking after the "special relationship"...

SEEKING AFTER SPECIAL RELATIONSHIPS

What is physical but an illusion that tries to separate us from the gross reality that who “I AM” is spirit, is love, projected in human form. As I fall for illusion, I see the suffering of the world and I start to suffer from it myself. I begin to feel sad, as if the physical form is real and spirit is not, seeking after the “special relationship” that will unite me with God, as if it could. When the special relationship lives to feel better about itself, to make up for what it thinks it lacks, it can not bring me closer to God, but only further enmeshed in an illusion of fear and separation.

When it is not God they know they are seeking, how can two flames unite as One. When the ultimate reality is Oneness with God, to seek after a relationship that does not desire the same is bound to cause pain, a “guilt of self-betrayal,” as stated in the Coure in Miracles.

So dwell not on any relationship that seeks specialness as its goal, for specialness is an illusion that exists because of guilt, shame and fear. For those too afraid to visit, they will not know, until they seek the courage to know. It is up to them.

For those whom seek to make real what is really illusion, have compassion, give love from your heart and when they deny your love, do not make it real.

Do not give what you think is love but is really fear, for always, you must discern this for yourself, and have the dignity to carry it forth. You will know it is love if you are centered.


“Once you have crossed the bridge, the value of the body is so diminished in your sight that you will see no need at all to magnify it. For you will realize that the only value the body has is to enable you to bring your brothers to the bridge with you, and to be released together there.

The bridge itself is nothing more than a transition in the perspective of reality…In the transition there is a period of confusion, in which a sense of actual disorientation may occur. But fear it not, for it means only that you have been willing to let go your hold on the distorted frame of reference that seemed to hold your world together. This frame of reference is built around the special relationship. Without this illusion there could be no meaning you would still seek here.
The period of disorientation, which precedes the actual transition is far shorter than the time it took to fix your mind so firmly on illusions. Delay will hurt you now more than before, only because you realize it is delay, and that escape from pain is really possible. Find hope and comfort, rather than despair, in this: You could not long find even the illusion of love in any special relationship here. For you are no longer wholly insane, and you would soon recognize the guilt of self-betrayal for what it is.” Course in Miracles

What we give to others, we give to ourselves.

Today, I was reminded again of the unconscious guilt I gave to a woman that I saw at the grocery store last week. As we were both at the salad bar, I asked her a question for which she abruptly cut off and answered, “no.” I was surprised, as she did not even here my question and so without thinking, I said, “Thanks for listening.” After I said this, I saw the reaction on her face, as her shoulders dropped. I imagine that she felt bad. Suddenly, I felt guilty.

“What was my intention of saying that?” I asked myself.

I realized that my intention of saying what I said was to make her wrong. Unconsciously, I was shaming her. I thought she should know that she wasn’t listening, as if she should listen. I wasn’t in the perspective of what was going on in her world. I wasn’t in the perspective that maybe she was really in a hurry, or had a lot going on or that maybe she wasn’t loving herself enough to really be present with me. Clearly, I have done what she did before.

The Course in Miracles speaks about this unconscious guilt, and even though, I feel much more aware of myself, I still forget sometimes that:

ALL IS CREATING LOVE OR ILLUSION BASED ON FEAR AND SEPARATION

This is probably why the foundation of the Course is forgiveness. It is commiting in advance to see love, however, knowing the illusory world is so ingrained in our culture, that the guilt we so often give to ourselves must be forgiven in order to truly grow.

At the same time, what the Course calls "unconscious guilt," must come into our awareness, before we are to forgive ourselves. This is because, "unconscious guilt" is usually hidden in "other;" we often create it when we blame and shame.

When I shame and blame, when I am full of "should" and "shouldn’t," "what's wrong," not accepting the reality presented in another person, and therefore, myself, I create unconscious guilt for myself. This is because what we give to others, we equally give to ourselves.

Even though, we can not be responsible for how another person experiences our words, we can still be responsible for how they create. Oftetimes, we are creating more guilt, shame and fear than love. To attract the kind of love we so desire, we need to be aware of our intent when we communicate- not only the words themselves, but the energy behind our words.

We want to ask ourselves, "How can I communicate my feelings, consciously, with love and respect for both me and another?"

To become more conscious of our unconscious guilt, we want to withhold judgement, blaming and shaming,"making wrong." It is possible that when we do this, we will experience the guilt that we would have projected onto another. Oftentimes, this guilt comes from somewhere of our past, which we were taught. We want to learn how to separate from this.

When we become conscious of the guilt and shame that we project, we can make different choices. By becoming more aware of our guilt, more and more, our choices and our being will reflect truth, which is love. If not, what guilt that becomes unconscious are likely to be a cause for many of our tendencies, habits, fears and wars.

Being present to our projections and the unconscious guilt that we were taught are important keystones to being in our own energy, the energy of divine love.