Anger in the body

Anger is a necessary stage in healing. Everyone experiences some form of anger, whether it is a fiery anger that is explosive or a watery anger that comes and goes. Either way, anger is a necessary process that we often suppress and deny out of shame, guilt, and fear of judgment. When we suppress and deny anger, we deny a part of our authenticity that could be useful in creating positive change in our lives. Instead, anger often festers in the body.

Emotion is really just a feeling that we put a word to. However, we attach ourselves to emotions and the feeling gets stuck in our bodies, somewhere- sitting, waiting to resurface so that it can release. The more we suppress our emotions, the more it builds up in our bodies. Eventually, this can create physical and mental dis-ease and stress.

It is not necessary to blame and project feeling angry onto other people when all the body wants to do is have it be acknowledged and released. Of course, there could always be someone to blame and through this blaming, we get more and more angry. When we hold on to blaming however, we poison ourselves with the anger that wants to release. There is really nothing to be ashamed of, no one to be scared of, nothing to feel guilty about when we release anger. Things happen to us and it sucks sometimes but it is us that chooses who we get to be about our life circumstances.

Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross describes in her book "On Death and Dying," 7 stages of Healing.
1st stage: denial
2nd stage: anger
3rd stage: Bargaining
4th stage: Depression
5th stage: Acceptance
6th stage: Rebirth

I don't doubt that the root of our physical and mental dis-ease lies within it a good deal of built up anger. Many people never move on from this stage of healing and are not even aware that there emotions create disharmony in the body.

How do we release anger without suppressing it?

After becoming aware that I have been suppressing my anger toward my current circumstance with past dental "care," I am much more active about releasing this anger. i sit and feel the anger, I feel the negative thoughts. I notice myself blaming the conditions which created it. i sit and notice this anger and I let the anger build us inside of me until I can't hold it in anymore. Then I let go and do whatever I need to do to further this release.

It is helpful to be in a quiet space where you know you are safe. To ensure your safety, you can lock the doors and set an intention to release your anger. You can make it a sacred and intimate connection to be with yourself. If you can't find solitude, you can warn the people around you that you need to release anger. You can ask for their suggestions or guidance. You can ask them to join you even! You could also scream in a pillow or sing and hum out your anger. I recommend doing whatever you can. Notice in your body where you feel your anger resides. Build resistance and then release, kick, scream, yell, shake...whatever you know you need to do to release the anger from your body.

If you know you have anger that has been in your body for a long time, I also recommend massage/energy therapy, loving touch. When we suppress anger, as well as other emotions, we can lose touch with our feelings. We might feel numb, as if we don't have feelings. If this is the case, it is very important to let yourself be touched by someone you can trust.

Signs. Resonate with Anger.

Resonating with Anger

I didn't think I could get angry. Or that it was very healthy.
But I have signs that it is time to be angry!
Life is so interesting.
The other day in the middle of Chi Gung class, the teacher, who I don't know, suddenly approaches and instructs me to bring my head to the floor and breath with my mouth open. She says she sees my ancestors.
My parents come in town and I really notice how much fear they carry within them. I see it in my mom especially. I wonder whose energy she is carrying.
I spend time alone and a vision appears of an "ancestor." His eyes are dark. I am not afraid of him but he is angry. He wants to play. He is bored. I think he is a healer.
I had been pulling the "death" card in tarot.
My neighbor is murdered.
I've been thinking about my own death and letting go of the ideas that have been serving my ego.
I see light but I am in the dark.
I get a reading from an Intuitive Guide/Clairvoyant, Adrienne Foder, and she sees a heavy energy around my mouth. She asks if I am holding on to anger and to be with my anger longer when it comes up. It's not getting through...

I have been angry at dentists and health care. I avoid going to the dentist because I think the work they do is often unnecessary and I think the work that they've done to me is "oppressive." I get angry at myself and I feel ashamed! I have been avoiding anger because it scares me but now I see that I have been suppressing anger!

I am resonating with all those people who feel like victims because the shit that happens to them that wounded them. I realize I am still healing and I believe God is presenting me with this problem because I must be "ready." The emotion, Anger, is a valid emotion that I have to acknowledge, release, purge. I seek alternative solutions to empower myself. I seek holistic, more aggressive action and care. Already, it is helping but I need a good dentist who actually thinks outside the box!

Thank God I live alone for me to process these emotions. Thank God for intuition and guidance. Thank God for signs! Thank God for light. Thank God for the darkness, for if there were no shadow to confront, I would be all light and I wouldn't be grounded. Thank you God for this experience, as I process anger, I will let it arise and I will listen to what I need to do, say, be in the moment when it occurs. I will make noise. I will shake. I will embrace humility. I truly believe that what lies beneath the physical is something hidden- mental, emotional, spiritual. Thank you God for bringing to light that which needs to be healed. Thank you God for these challenges at love, for to overcome this- the love for myself and all will only grow!

The Aquarian Teacher

The Aquarian Teacher:


As we embark on the new age, one question comes to mind: what is an aquarian teacher?

An Aquarian teacher is a person with presence. Presence will be more important in the future than the knowledge, expertise, and information the teacher carries. The Aquarian teacher will inspire his or her students without having to say a thing. The teacher will be a person of magnitude because they radiate qualities within the ONE soul that the student wishes to connect to.
They deliver through the act of conscious love for all. The Aquarian teacher delivers experiences and guides the student to the seeing and being interdependent with God, without imposing his or her ego. She/he does it through love, compassion, accepting, and allowing. The Aquarian teacher will encourage his/her students to unity with self, but she/he will not do so with a belief that his/her way is the one way. Instead, the Aquarian teacher will ignite within the student their own creative force that is unique to that particular student. The Aquarian teacher is aware of a systemization of knowledge but he or she is guided by intuition and encourages the same for his or her students.

Transformation...

Transformation:

Transcending Emotion.
Staying Balanced.
Processing with patience and trust.
Healing with an intention.
Feeling fears.

Transformation:

Journeying.
Forgiving.
Loving.
Creating.
Knowing
Yet surrendering, "I know nothing."

Transformation:

disciplining
overcoming
listening.
accepting.

Transformation:

Living in not knowing.
Letting go.
Enjoying.

Transformation:

BEING

Commit in Advance

Parents are coming in town for a short period.
Life is fast, it is predicted to feel faster.
So I am taking this time as an opportunity to slow down.
I am letting go of wants- things I feel I need and try to access but really, I do not need.
Right now, I must need my parents.
Right now, my parents must need me.
They are arriving and my heart is open to receive them.

For the short time they are here,
I am serving my parents.
I AM whatever it takes to stay inspired and be inspiring!
It's going to be fun and we are connecting.
I LOVE my parents.

I'm going to tell my dad a story about how much his words meant to me as a child.
I'm going to use my healing touch and presence to love them.
My courage will strengthen them and if they worry, I AM calm and breathing and letting go constantly to hold space for them.

I am patient.
I am courageous.
I am calm.
I am grateful.

Calm that braves the storm

I am authentic.

I realize, I am processing still from the shootings next door. I suppose I am afraid. I hear the shots still and they trigger me, they rattle my brain. I am letting go.

I am like the calm that is braving the storm. I feel everything and yet I am calm. Death feels so close and yet I do not know. I sit waiting, not knowing. I do not want to talk because I do not want to create more fear and yet, I feel the fear at my door. It is neither my friend nor my enemy. It just is and I have to be with and accept it.

I interact with co-workers and I see they are being that they are right. I see their need for control. I see the Emperor. I remind myself that this archetype also has a sunny side. I have to accept who we are being. I have to accept the ego-ic machine that we often, unconsciously, act from. I feel tired today. I have to accept. I am doing my best to stay present.

My friend cancels on me. I really wanted to see him. I know he loves me. I have to accept that he was being authentic to himself. I have to accept that he chose sleeping over hanging out with me. I have to accept.

So then I become present to longing. I wanted to see my friend because I have so much love to give and I feel safe to give it to him. I do not want to lead anyone on and I feel free to be myself with him, so I realize how much a part of me is not being expressed. I am present to generating joy. It is an illusion that relationship will free me. It is a want but not a need. It just is right now. The reserves within me somehow emerge and bubbles over, I feel peace. Then I notice the thoughts and they bring me back down. I remember to be present again. I am not my emotions. I am not my thoughts. I choose to be the give-away, generous. I focus my attention on outside. This is helpful. I hold points to stay balanced. I'm sure that I am not completely grounded but I am doing my best.

This too shall pass.

Conscious Love

I EMBRACE Conscious Love.
It is-
Accepting.
Forgiving.
Allowing.
It is based on a mutual goal. The goal of spiritual growth and development.

It is awareness.
Extended through sharing
It is what we need to evolve.
It is supporting another in their spiritual growth and development.
Taking full responsibility for one's thoughts, actions, and beliefs.
Letting go of the need to control, to be right, and manipulate.
Letting go of jealousy, specialness, and expectation.
Conscious communication that is not blaming or attacking.

It is not:
giving to get.
based on a need to feel special or worthy.
to feed one's ego.

Recommended readings: Infinite truth: undoing the ego

If you feel yourself "mad" (spiritual seekers)

One reason people are more likely to go "crazy" is because who they are being is created by the outside world as who they are. The mad begin to believe their thoughts that they are crazy. They can eventually lose their mind and damage their brain, which will make it more difficult for them to become grounded. This is not to create fear, in fact, fear is the watering of the seeds of madness. Because mad people believe the thought that they are crazy, their ego becomes so strong that their fears become reality, a self-fulfilling prophesy. They do not believe they can be helped so they do not invest time or energy in healing. They become victims and predators.

How would it look if we became more aware of the power of our words? Would we still be trying to classify, control and manipulate others to fit our distortion of "reality"? What is likely to happen is that we will struggle with our "alternative" view of reality with the old belief and ways of being that perpetuate our fears.

If this becomes the case, if you find yourself questioning your thoughts more, knowing that they are not true, you might feel like you are going crazy. You may feel guilty by your knowledge of being a co-creator and creating the things you don't really want. The key to this is: don't believe your thoughts. The truth is that you are becoming more aware and this awareness is key to our liberation.

Be patient and find tools to love yourself.
Seek guidance if you need to.
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Unrevised post

Background thoughts of my neighbor:

She's a nut. Not very grounded and quite paranoid.
Totally afraid.
"Resonate with her"
Ok
It is not that she IS crazy.
It is not that she IS a nut.
It is who see has been feeding.
She feeds "her" negative mind and believes her words.
She feeds "her" negative mind and creates what she does not want.
Her life is full of illusion.
This is the case with all of us to some extent.
How extreme one's condition is depends on what seeds they water and how often.
Madness is contributed as a result OF THE CONDITIONED MIND, the separated self.

And he?
Do we deserve such things to happen to us? Do we deserve to get hurt by those we love?
Are we not innocent bystanders?
I do not know.
All is to be learned.
We are but borrowed bodies.
Have compassion and surrender to not knowing.

Earth and we are ONE

Like us, the earth cries for balance.
Like us, when the earth gets stressed out, she throws a fit.
She cries for LOVE.
The earth and we are ONE.
What is happening to the earth is happening to us.
The micro IS the macro
It is not us vs she
We ARE the Earth.

We are a stressed out species.
Overburdened.
How do we want to spend our lives?
Mother Earth asks.
She cries for us.
She wants us to respect ourselves.
She wants us to learn from her.
She wants acknowledgment.
She wants us to be balanced and grounded
so she can be at peace.

"Remember me!" She cries.

Let us give thanks to Mother Earth.
Let us honor her.
Listen to her.
Visit her.
Respect her.
Trust her.
Give back to Mother Earth.

Let us remember her.

visualization and medicine reminders

While sitting I had this sudden vision where I was looking down at Earth. The Earth's aura revealed to be very dark and so then I thought, "Ok. What do I do with this image?" So I started to see light. Pockets of light, expanding more and more. I see light. It exists already. It was challenging to stay with this vision to see it expand to all of humanity. I noticed "my" mind distracting me with ego-ic thoughts having to be about me. Is this what we are facing? The world of me and mine, distractions and tendencies vs the seeing, the being of Oneness.

Perhaps this is a sign. I have been asking for signs and they keep pointing me in the direction of service. Life and living is really about serving others, increasing the vibration of light and love in the world. To me, it is about serving what I call God. I realize that sometimes I am very present to all that I do as an opportunity to serve God and other times, I am impatient and I hunger for full creative expression, outlets. So now 3 animal medicine cards come to mind:

The medicine of ANTELOPE, who teaches that action and service are everyday opportunities in which we must act if we are to create/manifest our desires. The medicine of Ant, who teaches us about patience, trust, and the "group" mind. In setting one's intentions to say, bring light in the world, we must have patience and trust to see when and where our creations unfold. We also must work together and see that we all play a part. We have to be one with each other and work to end the dualistic thinking that we are separate and have to compete (that is ego-ic). Lastly, I am reminded of Alligator, who teaches the importance of proper timing, which is needed for the digestion and integration of new ideas, projects, ect, entering one's life.

Mirroring Wants from needs

The other day I got really angry. Nobody would probably have guessed but inside I was fuming with heat in my body. How come? I noticed a guy I was working with doing something that was affecting me. I started to think he was doing it on purpose and that THOUGHT created anger and frustration.

Often the people that frustrate and challenge us are really just meant to teach us something that we don't like within ourselves. In moments of anger, ask yourself, "what do I have to learn from this? What is this person teaching me?"

Honestly, I was mad and frustrated because I wasn't getting what I wanted. Oftentimes, he gets frustrated with me for not following what he wants. Is this not a great mirror! Someone is doing to me, exactly what I have done to them and I get frustrated and upset. How do we relate to people when we want something from them? How does it feel to not measure up to what someone else wants?

Considering that the things that we think we want, may not be what we really need, perhaps what I needed was to see the lesson that I keep seeing and hearing a lot lately. "Nobody's perfect. Let go. Your not perfect. Neither are they." Does this help me overcome the frustration and upset of not getting what I want? Yes!

The next time you are angry at someone, ask yourself:

What do I have to learn about myself from this situation? What are they teaching me?
What do I want? Is what I want really something I need?

Is it wise to lie?

My friend made a statement yesterday that "sometimes it is wise to lie." Is that truth? Is that wisdom?
________________________________________________________________________________________________

First, it depends on who I am lying to. Am I lying to my higher self? Or am I lying to what society, an authority figure, a person or group of people would see inappropriate? According to whose standards am I "lying"?

Wisdom is an action coming from the higher self.

I realize that when I lie, it is my higher self who I am lying to, not anyone else. Sometimes I have a difficult time accepting it and when that occurs, I see that I feel guilty and afraid for not listening. It is not wise to lie to my higher self, however it is wise to accept the choices that I make when I do not listen.

When I accept that I do not always listen to my higher self, I experience love for myself. I remember that I am not perfect for a reason and that God does not judge me. It is my ego that judges. This creates peace within me.

When I am "lying" according to another person's standards and am acting from my highest self at the same time, then perhaps I am not even lying. Rather, I am trusting.

It is wise to listen to our higher selves, to trust and to accept our choices either way.


Define: Wisdom

a deep understanding and realizing of people, things, events or situations, resulting in the ability to choose or act to consistently produce the optimum results with a minimum of time and energy. It is the ability to optimally (effectively and efficiently) apply perceptions and knowledge and so produce the desired results. Wisdom is also the comprehension of what is true or right coupled with optimum judgment as to action. Synonyms include: sagacity, discernment, or insight. Wisdom often requires control of one's emotional reactions (the "passions") so that one's principles, reason and knowledge prevail to determine one's actions. (Wikipedia)

1. The quality of being wise; knowledge, and the capacity to make due use of it; knowledge of the best ends and the best means; discernment and judgment; discretion; sagacity; skill; dexterity. [1913 Webster]